How to Get What You Want
What would have to happen to make 2020 your best year yet?
Take a second to write that down.
Did you do it?
If you did, you just increased your chance of making it happen by 42%!!!
Now, for the other 58%, you need to do the following:
Step 1: You need to go from “wanting” to deciding to get it.
Definition of want: to wish for or desire something
Wanting is passive. It’s easy, safe and comfortable. We can “want” things all day long but the feeling of wanting just amplifies the fact that you don’t have what you want and will keep you in the “wanting” stage indefinitely.
Wanting doesn’t create results.
You know what creates results? Commitment.
Being committed means you are determined to follow through on a course of action. ACTION is the key word here.
Action creates results.
The only way to get what you want is to be 100% committed to getting it.
Step 2: Commit 100% to your goals.
If you’re still with me, you’re serious about making some sh*t happen this year. If you take the following 6 steps YOUR SUCCESS IS INEVITABLE (my current mantra).
First, you need to have a compelling reason. You need to be emotionally connected to your “why”.
Here’s some questions to help you figure it out.
Why do you want this goal? (repeat this question 5-7 times)
How will your life improve if you reach your goal?
Who else will be impacted?
What will you miss out on if you don’t achieve your goal?
Make your “why” big enough and strong enough that it will pull you forward and motivate you to take action.
Second, resolve not to give up no matter how long it takes.
So many people have gotten into a bad habit of quitting on themselves. As soon as things get hard, they give up. Excuses such as “I can’t do this”, “It’s not working”, “I’m too tired”, “I don’t have time for this” create confusion, doubt, worry and overwhelm and inevitably lead to throwing in the towel.
Stop quitting on yourself.
To build unwavering self-trust, you need to follow through on your goals. You need to rebuild the personal integrity you have lost over the years of giving in to the excuses of your primal brain.
Make 2020 the year you actually stick to your goals. Let go of the timeline and Just. Keep. Going.
Third, expect there to be challenges.
What might get in the way? Write a list of every inner and outer obstacle that you will potentially face. Then, create a strategy for dealing with each one.
You have all the answers within you. Ask your brain the right questions, and it will come up with some pretty brilliant answers!
Planning ahead is essential. You need to prepare for the worst but expect the best.
Fourth, act on commitment, not how you feel in the moment.
Let’s be real, most of the time you won’t “feel” like taking the actions required to reach your goals. We are hard-wired to avoid pain and discomfort, run towards pleasure and instant gratification and exert the least amount of energy possible. It’s just in our DNA. If you EXPECT there to be mental resistance, then you can just acknowledge it and stride ahead.
Don’t wait for motivation, like Nike says: “Just do it”.
Fifth, run towards discomfort as if your success depends on it. Because… it does.
Success is built upon a giant pile of mistakes, failures, and uncomfortable conversations. So instead of avoiding those things, embrace them. Success easily won holds little value. Overcoming adversity is where the real growth happens.
Discomfort is the currency of your dreams.
It’s the price you must be willing to pay to get what you really want. Get better at reframing failure and failing fast, failing often and failing better. The more fails you collect, the closer you will be to your goals.
Lastly, get to a point of no return.
“Leap and the net will appear” – Zen saying
Or like Bo Eason says, “There’s no plan B for your a-game”. This is something I learned long ago. If you’re not “all in”, it won’t happen. When they say “burn the bridges”, this is what they are talking about.
You need to invest heavily in your goals. Invest your time, money, energy and attention. When you do, there’s skin in the game. You’re signaling to yourself and the universe that you mean business. You’re serious. There’s an instant psychological upgrade that happens the moment you decide to move forward. You take on the identity of someone who will reach your goal. I did this when I decided to become a health coach.
So, there you have it, my step-by-step process to getting what you want. You need to go from wanting to being 100% committed to making it happen. You must:
1. Have a compelling “why”
2. Resolve not to give up no matter how long it takes
3. Anticipate obstacles and create strategies around them (in advance). Make a plan
4. Act on your commitment, not your feelings in the moment
5. Run towards failure and discomfort (not away from them)
6. Invest your money, time and effort
Repeat after me, “my success is inevitable”.
What are you going to make happen this year? Let me know!